Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Randomize
