I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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