Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
