ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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