I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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