you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
