i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
