I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
