Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
