If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
