i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just high enough for therapy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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