He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am naked and annoyed.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
