how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
