She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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