We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
