I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
