we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just puked most of my soul out..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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