You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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