I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
