the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
