Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
