At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize