Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
