I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She told me I should be a condom model.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
