No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
