why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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