you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
