I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
