My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
