Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
whose parrot is this?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
