i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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