so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
