I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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