so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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