I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
