i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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