New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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