i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
