ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
