At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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