WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize