Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sext me about skeletons
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
