I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize