He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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