Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
