I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Houston, we have a squirter
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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