that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you never un-have a 4some
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
