It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
