Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
