I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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