Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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