I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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