There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
