The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
