508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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