I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
