i think my mom watched the whole time
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize