I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
