Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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