your thong is hanging out like whoa
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
