I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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