Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
