nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
