Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
