Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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