I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
