Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
vagina is talking i cant
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
