I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
