Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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