you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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