I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
