So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
