I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
