I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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