were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
