Grow some girl-balls and come out already
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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