omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
