i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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