just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
