I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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