i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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