If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want nice things and good sex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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